“Mad Men” is airing its Christmas episode in August whether you like it or not. Tonight, they revealed which SCDP employees (and which creepy Ossining residents) deserve to be on the lovely list, and which of them ought to expect a lump of coal in their stockings. Spoiler alert: there's much more of the latter than there's of the former.
Don’s storyline, unsurprisingly, revolves around his relationships with a trio of females. At the top of the hour, they sits in his office as his secretary, Allison—a holdover from Sterling Cooper, for those keeping score—goes through his mail. Among the envelopes is a letter addressed to “Santa Claus, c/o Don Draper.”
It’s from Sally; as they writes, ““Bobby thinks this is going to the North Pole, but they ought to keep up the roos [sic].” Don asks Allison to select up the presents Sally names in the letter, although they can’t buy the one thing Sally wishes over anything else: for Don to be at their elderly house on Christmas morning. Allison clearly is not getting paid to do this job.
Next on Don’s agenda is a gathering with a few representatives from the Motivational Research Group, a newfangled organization that promises to cause an marketing revolution by harnessing the power of psychology. Among the reps is Dr. Faye Miller, a nice-looking blond who apparently was the first to come up with the idea of showing a “carefree gal in white pants” in ads for feminine hygiene products.
Faye has everyone gathered in the conference room take a check, a survey about their backgrounds that’s supposed to reveal powerful information about what they “really require, in lieu of what they say they do.” On finding out that the survey asks questions like “How do you feel about your sister?” Don promptly exits the room.
The next day, Don’s awoken early by the dulcet tones of anyone hammering something in to a wall. It’s his across-the-hall neighbor, a petite nurse named Phoebe, who’s preparing for her office Christmas party. The hospital has to throw its shindig early, they explains, because in the coursework of Christmas and New Year’s, they’re “overrun with suicides.”
The neighbors run in to each other again that night, when Don stumbles home and she’s outside her apartment, cleaning up. They walks in to his apartment after they manages to open the lock, and somehow, they immediately tumble down onto his bed. Though Don half-heartedly tries making a move, Phoebe resists, gets up, and takes his shoes off for him. Her sister was a drunk, they explains, so they knows what to do in this situation. Great, more daddy issues.
SCDP’s own office Christmas party takes place soon after the hospital’s. Though Lane had originally strong-armed Don and co. in to throwing something small, understated, and cheap, it turns out that Lee Garner Jr. is going to make an appearance at the party. That means the agency has to put on a lovely show, since—as Sal learned the hard way—Garner is by far their most important client.
The resulting soiree isn’t a a full-on debauchery, but it comes close. Illustrators and secretaries are making out in plain view of other guests. There’s a conga line, led by Joan. Garner fundamentally forces Roger to don a Santa costume, then takes humiliating Polaroid pics of the SCDP employees sitting on his lap. (“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” mutters Harry as they poses.)
Don, though, appears to be having a tranquil time, barring some awkwardness borne out of hanging around a group of couples. When they decides to call it a night, they heads in to his office—and gets followed by Faye. But to Don’s surprise, she’s not there to knock boots. In lieu, they wishes to know why they didn’t take her diagnostic check. There’s some banter, Don manages not to say anything incriminating, and finally they leaves him with words that are either comforting or stinging, depending on your interpretation: “I know the holidays are hard in your situation, but don’t worry. You’ll be married again in a year.”
For the second time this episode, Don staggers back to his hip Greenwich Village apartment. But this time, they can’t flop onto his bed because they left his keys at the office. After futilely knocking on Phoebe’s door, they finds a pay phone and gets Allison to say she’ll run his keys over. (“He’s pathetic,” gripes new worker Joey when Allison says she’s going to be late to meet him and a few other late-night revelers.)
Allison lets Don in and, like Phoebe before her, starts to take care of him. They brings him an aspirin and turns to go—but before they can, Don goes in to Casanova automatic pilot and clumsily scoops her onto his lap. For the second time this episode, Don goes to kiss a girl who’s randomly entered his apartment. And though Allison initially resists his advances (lovely!), they finally relents (naughty!). They go at it on Don’s couch without even taking off their clothes.
The next morning, tinsel and mistletoe are still strewn all about the SCDP offices. When Don comes in, they asks Allison to step in to his office. They looks expectant, but all they says is that he’s grateful that they brought him his keys… and he’d like to give her her Christmas bonus early. Don has apparently been spending much time with hookers and not time with girls who have feelings. Allison has no choice but to accept the cash—$100, which isn’t to erase shame—and get to work, all the while looking as if anyone told her that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
Don and Allison aren’t the only ones getting busy this episode. Peggy’s cute new fella, Mark, is clearly head-over-heels for Miss Olsen—and he’s also worn out of the fact that the three of them aren’t “doing anything [he] can’t do [him]self.” They thinks that Peggy is reluctant to go all the way because she’s a virgin. Oh, sweet, simple Mark! They also tries to persuade Peggy to give it up using these immortal words of wisdom: “In Sweden, they have sex the minute they feel attracted. And it’s healthier!”
Peggy’s also having trouble at work, where Freddy Rumsen—a.k.a. the man who one time played Mozart along with his zipper, then got fired form Sterling Cooper after getting wasted and wetting his pants—has suddenly reappeared. He’s brought with him an account with potential, Pond’s Chilled Cream. Peggy, still the go-to gal for any lady-focused clients, gets to work with Freddy brainstorming feasible campaigns.
But from the outset, their ideas clash. Freddy wishes to book Tallulah Bankhead for the campaign, or possibly Doris Day. But Peggy thinks those actresses skew elderly. Freddy then proposes a different idea: though nothing makes elderly ladies look lovely, Pond’s can keep young ladies from looking elderly. “If you use Pond’s, you’ll get married,” they suggests. Or “the other way: in the event you don’t use Pond’s, then you’ll never get married.”
Peggy is, of coursework, infuriated by Freddy’s train of thought. They accuses him of sounding “old-fashioned,” an insult that must cut to the core for a middle-aged man trying to play a young person’s game. Peggy regrets her words, though, and apologizes to Freddy after the Christmas party. They, in turn, apologizes for “saying you require to get married.” This leads in to a semi-uncomfortable conversation about Peggy’s love life. They finds herself telling Freddy that they isn’t sure what to do about her fella, since “he won’t leave me alone.”
Freddy’s response? “If you’re going to marry him, you can’t do anything. They won’t respect you.” Then again, Peggy also shouldn’t lead him on: “That is physically uncomfortable, you know. That is not a joke.”
In the finish, Peggy throws caution to the wind and sleeps with Mark. Let’s hope she’s back on the pill! When they’re cuddling afterward, they asks her if they feels different now—a query as loaded as a man asking a trick-or-treating Don, “And who are you supposed to be?”
A kind of affection is also in the air for Sally Draper, who seems to have grown about three feet since Season 3. While shopping for a Christmas tree along with her relatives, they runs in to Glen Bishop—the boy last seen creepily asking Betty for a lock of her hair, then not as creepily trying to console her at the finish of Season 1.
Now, though, Glen’s set his sights on another Draper girl. They tells Sally that they heard her parents got divorced. Well, actually, this is what they says: “I saw your new dad! My mom said that would happen.” Glen starts calling Sally, who confesses to him how unhappy they is. They decides to show his solidarity along with her in a unorthodox way: by breaking in to her house with a mate and trashing the place, smashing eggs on the wall and in Bobby’s bed, shaking out cereal onto the stove, and otherwise causing mayhem.
But Glen doesn’t mess up anything in Sally’s room. In lieu, they leaves behind a token—the twine they had with him on the Christmas tree lot—so that she’ll know what they did for her. That night, Sally goes to sleep cradling the twine in her hand, looking happy for the first time this year.
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