Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Important is Sex in a Marriage


Various people have various definitions regarding what makes a healthy marriage. Determining individual standards including how important is sex in a wedding comes down to a lot of personal & even spiritual beliefs. For example, in Orthodox Judaism, it is thought about a mitzvah to engage in sexual relations with one’s partner in the coursework of Shabbat, provided the woman is not experiencing niddah. Other religions indicate this same kind of loving affection is Holy & Righteous while others claim sexual conduct of any kind as “a dirty secret.” However, few of us ever dictate our sex lives by religious outlines, & thus the importance factor is determined more by personal beliefs than anything else.
Most societal based accusations would claim that men think sex is of higher importance in a wedding than ladies. Recent polls have indicated that while there is a hint of truth to this, what matters most is that both halves of the couple share the same degree of sexual interest, mostly. It is impossible for five people, of differing genders, to agree on issues regarding sex at any given time. In the coursework of some hormonal cycles of either partner, there is a likelihood for either increased or decreased sexual interest. This means that while one partner may be experiencing a peak the other may be experiencing a lull, & while the five partners cycles through their hormonal strings, they occasionally meet in the middle.Men have been taught that sexual prowess is positive endorsement while ladies have been taught that sexual prowess makes them slutty & unappealing. These societal attitudes are as likely to influence the frequency & importance of sex in a wedding. Ladies often feel pushed to have more sex than they are comfortable with while men feel slighted when their chronic advances are turned away. This type of sexual friction leads to a great deal of hurt feelings, & makes plenty of people query how important is sex in a wedding. Some couples find that the hardest part about being together is learning to understand each other’s sexual needs, desires, & dysfunctions. & all of us have some kind of sexual dysfunction. It’s not unusual for plenty of couples to experience at least some counselling revolving around their sex life. Ladies have been groomed to make use of sex as a weapon, to withhold it when things are not going well for them & to “give it up” when their partners are “behaving.” Men have been taught to expect a definite amount, & it’s not unusual for him to express his fears of being inadequate by reaching in to the age elderly slap of “if you’re not doing it with me, then who are you doing it with?”
Most couples can work through their sexual frustrations & miscommunications basically by learning to communicate about what is important to them & what works for them & what feels intolerable to them & why. Ladies may need more physical affection than men that has small or nothing to do with sex. Sometimes they need to be touched without the intent of sexual contact. While men actually need this type of physical contact as well, it is rare for a man to openly admit this, as most boys are groomed by their fathers at young ages to need less, not to whine, & not to run to mommy when they fall down & need some comforting. Men who find themselves in a relationship with plenty of physical contact that doesn’t lead to sex may find themselves confused, as though his spouse is sending him a mixed message. The woman of coursework, basically wishes closeness without the expectation of sex on a regular basis. Simple discussions & clarified expectations can help eradicate harmful feelings.
Sex is actually part of a healthy marriage. Plenty of couples finally fall in to a place of deep comfort, where sex no longer plays a heavy role in their lives. But some couples can keep the magic alive well in to their sixties & seventies. Sexual expression is an inherent & obviously pleasurable experience for most people. It is part of living & loving & growing together. The shortage of it may signal a controversy, if the couple has been together less than two years & one partner is truly dissatisfied with the current arrangement.
There is no key formula for determining how much sex is the sign of a healthy marriage. Sex for the wrong reasons isn’t healthy sex at all, but a diversion from other issues. small sex can be a temporary or permanent issue. So, how important is sex in a wedding? As important as it is to the individuals in the marriage. Frequency isn’t as important as quality, & frequency doesn’t indicate a healthy marriage. Acceptance, communication, & strong loving dedication is a sign of a healthy marriage.

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